Until you're ready

Not all shared living arrangements turn out well, unfortunately. However, almost all problems happen because there was no written and agreed upon set of expectations and house rules or the participants did not actively use their written agreement to solve problems.

It's good to consider ahead of time what questions you want to ask a prospective person you might want to live with. (In Senior Women Living Together, we call these people prospective "homemates").  

Naturally, you need to discuss all of the basic things like how cooking, cleaning and laundry will be done.  But at a deeper level, you will also want to know what the person will be like to live with.  So, you need to learn more about their usual ways of responding to day-to-day life circumstances.

Compatibility is described as "a state in which two things are able to exist or occur together without problems or conflict".  

Everyone would agree that the most important thing that leads to success in a home sharing situation is finding the "right" people to live with. Since compatibility is essential for successful shared-living, Senior Women Living Together (SWLT) focuses considerable attention on this issue. 

Successful shared living requires several important ingredients. First, people who live together must be compatible with one another. Secondly, as individuals, they need to be flexible and open to new ideas and ways of doing things. Thirdly, the group of people need to communicate effectively. And finally, a solid, written agreement must be in place and reviewed frequently. 

What problem are you trying to solve?

It’s natural to have some concerns or questions about sharing a home with others. So, we have pulled together the most common ones into this article.

We have offered suggestions because for most of these issues, there are no set answers. Each homemate group has to determine for themselves how they will manage these things.

It’s been said that flexibility is the single most important attribute needed for successful shared living. I think you will see why after you have read this article.

Shared living, for most of us, is a brand new way of life. You may remember the “Golden Girls” show and laughingly wonder if you are most like Blanche, Dorothy, Rose or Sophia. But then remind yourself that it was a sitcom and not real life.

As you move around the Senior Women Living Together site, you might sometimes feel excited by the prospect of living with others…….at other times, you might wonder if this life-style is right for you.

It’s normal to have some concerns when contemplating such a big change.